so i finally had my turkey day meal today.. didn't get it on turkey day and that made me sad but i had pot roast instead! That was fun.. but i love me some of lucien's grandma's stuffing balls.. ate too many now but all will be better in a while!

picked up a snowflake orgami kit today.. had this idea to get a tree and make all foil orgami stars to put on the tree thought it would be pretty with white lights.. problems with this idea..

1. don't have a tree

2. don't have the money to buy a tree

3. allergic to real trees thus can't even get a cheap real one..

4. orgami is hard!

5. orgami is hard!

6. the orgami in the book isn't actually orgami more like folding and cut here here and here and carefully glue together.. WTF?

anyways i'm off to read and then go to bed..

happy turkey day everyone..

fuck that your all getting fucking ho-made whoopie pies.. i'm not going to go out and buy one person a specific gift my luck brent would get me and i'd end up with something like a bag of candy he bought on his way in that day..

*sigh*

I have to work 1:30 - 6:00 tonight which isn't bad but everyones going to be bitching like crazy today.. its going to stress me out..

The 2 days before thanksgiving are hell in the pizza world.. I'm planning on just gripping the steering wheel nice and tight and driving this crazy semolina filled cheese bus right around the roni drama!

i forgot so i must post again.. a small child made my day today..

a child of like 3 or 4 at most was in his mothers arms and he looks at me and he goes

"HEY I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING"

and of course i respond with "alright"

then he goes "THIS IS JUST LIKE THAT SONG BEAT IT! EXCEPT YOU EAT IT! SO JUST EAT IT!"

and the other customers and i proceed to smile and laugh.. it was amazing..

for those of you that do not know i work for wegman's in their pizza shop making pizza and wings and i was giving this child a slice of cheese pizza when this all came about!

So i finally updated my phone.. which i actually did early but i'm not sure if i posted i broke my old phone and couldn't see anything on the screen cause it was like black and crunchy.. So i switched to like a 6 yr old phone i had laying around.. which amazingly i had a car charger for? freakin awesome but soooo old and out of date and it was like being the only kid at the party not to get cake!

So i got a droid.. which is pretty awesome.. i'm a little annoyed that sometimes it freezes actually it freezes quite a bit.. and then its like ERROR then you have like two options "force close" and "something else i never pay attention to because you have to force close" which most of the problems are just because its so damn new and all the apps are new and it needs time to get working.. so i'm trying to be understanding..

things i love about it

- every time i get an e-mail its like i got a text message so i'm like YAY!

- a task bar at the time that pulls down and i can look at everything and decide what i want to take care of now and later..

- hello no force of verizon operating system..

- its just freakin awesome..

- i get that freakish eye on the screen every time i turn it on which i've only done twice when i bought it and once when i wanted to see if it actually did it every time.. other than that it does not get switched off..

- oh it doesn't do that annoying reboot thing other verizon phones do where the turn off and on all the sudden

- oh and it goes DROOOOIIIDDDDD!

ANYWAYS...

i finished the book i was reading "tempted" by P.c. Cast its like the 6th book in the house of night series which is actually pretty good and not too deep and crazy like some books.. love me some light reading.. loved the whole book and then the ending was like a punch to the balls! Talk about cliffhangers.. i was like seriously? did they really just do that? Are they going to give out the power to turn back time now cause how the hell will there be a series? *sigh*

in other news i'm about to go try and get my penpals back because they went all MIA and i lost them when i moved.. i miss me some mybooksmylove

I'm sorry i've been gone for so long and i feel like all i do is say i'm sorry on my own journal but i kind of am.. i'm sorry to anyone and everyone who is my friend on here and i'm also sorry that i did this to myself.. i really have missed my journal and it saddens me quite a bit that i've lost touch with so many people! I'm not going to sit here and say i'm going to be better automatically but i know that i'm going to try! I've got a new computer which i announced a while back.. i've got the internet back.. and i've got the client on my desktop yet again so i'm going to try my damn best to be here and get back!

As for what been going on with me.. i guess you can say i've slowly been losing my freaking mind! Between all the family drama and work i'm not sure i'm still sane! As its probably been said before i had a falling out with my grandmother and aunt on my mothers side.. nothing has changed there i do not speak with them still.. i do miss willis though she was the closest thing i truely had to a mother.. speaking of mothers mine is a dumbass.. which is nothing new shes a loser and a drunk and i wish she would wake up and realize she needs a better life.. but at the moment shes not speaking with me.. a few weeks ago she disappeared off the grid and i got worried and searched for her a bit and found her sort of.. she texted me and told me she was fine and she loved me... Then comes along baby jack's birthday party (which i will be posting pictures of on my myspace right after this) and she is suppose to be there so i text her to ask her if shes coming and she responds "i'm sick" thats it! so i respond "Of course you are! How silly of me to ever think you would show up to your own grandson's birthday party!" I know i was kind of bitchy but shes rediculous so eventually she'll either get over it or she won't!

As for my two brothers their both losers and into drugs.. the only good thing elliot has ever done in his life is have his child jack that i adore.. stacy has no motivation in life and i've pretty much given up all hope for him.. the rest of my mothers family has pretty much shunned me.. except for my grandfather butch who is also the black sheep like me and we get along just fine! But black sheeps don't really band together we kinda stay by ourselves.. As for my dads family well always been the black sheep there nothing new!

That was kind of an unnecessary explanation so whoops.. but whoever i did have i've lost and now lucien's family is kinda leaving and disappearing slowly and it really saddens me.. because i was so excited to get to know them and really be part of the Snyder's!

On the having a baby front.. nothing going on there i don't think it will ever happen *deep breathe* maybe its for the best anyways.. i don't really like child puke! Or any puke for that matter and children seem to puke quite a bit around me!

anyways i'll stop rambeling but no one.. AND I MEAN NO ONE! is allowed to yell at me for multi- posting i'll chop heads! Also i'm about to delete friends that deleted me and such so yay for maintnance!

so we got a new computer not really excited that its a dell but hey it works it runs its awesome! but i have no client right now and my schedule for work this week is like so stuffed i wanna puke just thinking about it! so soon i'll download one and we'll be up and running with pointless posts again!

i celebrated my 23rd birthday on sunday.. and it went well.. i survived which is good especially since i had a nightmare about getting stung by bees.. and usually those come true! Although my own father never even called me to wish me a happy one! *tear*

i got some more ugly ties from lisa for my birthday.. and i love them! i also completly unpacked my kitchen and besides dusting and wiping everything down again its completly clean.. i wanna leave all my vacumming and scrubbing for when i can do the whole house.. so now all i need to do is finish the living room and get the rest of the art supplies into this room and we're set!

oh and someone stole the stereo out of my car.. along with my roadside assistance kit that had my jumper cables in it... which is so random.. i'm a little upset about it but not too bad i mean i did want a new stereo i just would have at least liked to have the radio until i got a new one!

yeah thats all thats exciting in my world right now.. i'll post soon with other fun things i guess!

my computer has been on a rampage for a while now.. it hates me to high hell apparently..

so if i'm not around as much as normal which isn't much.. it means the stupid thing broke!

happy easter everyone..

as of yesterday lucien and i have been married 7 months so that makes us together for 2 years and 7 months.. yay!

i know blah relationship jabber so i'll get right to other stuff..

it is easter morning it is suppose to be a great morning and for me it is not.. i get woken up by my cat jumping from window to window to look at the birds.. then because its so bright in the bedroom i cannot get back to sleep so i go sleep on the new couch which is comfy but not my bed ya know.. Then i get up get my shower have morning easter sex which was great by the way and then i go to get dressed.. dun dun dun!!!

i put on my favorite pair of well worn jeans.. sure they have a couple little holes here and there but their comfy and i'm going to wear a nice shirt so its alright and then go to put on my socks.. rippppppppppp!!!! all down the back of said favorite jeans! Well not wearing those so i go to find another pair of jeans have to wear ones that arn't so comfy and always grow and fall down by the end of the day! so i go to grab said nice shirt.. instead of being folded nicely and put away its crumpled in a ball on the floor but its clean i remember just washing it.. grrrrrr... so my nice shirt is all wrinkley and i can't find an iron.. cause well i havn't found it yet in any of the boxes..

so my day has started off kinda not quite right.. i'm hoping it can only get better from here on out!!

anyways.. watch for your pants ripping on you and shirts wrinkeling up.. and have a great easter!!!

Ever feel like your going crazy.. completly and utterly crazy? I do on a regular basis.. according to everyone around me my brothers my husband and my parents i tell them things that would make no sense at all according to my character and who i am and then on top of that i don't remember saying them at all..

Its just so fustrating because first off if i am saying these things why oh why wouldn't someone notice that thats totally not like me at all.. things that i repeat all the time.. things i've always had issues with and its not something new.. i just i don't get it..

and now i feel like i can't even write in my own journal to talk about these things my feelings or whats going on in my life cause my husband just gets on his journal and reads mine and i have no privacy what so ever..

one of the great things about livejournal is that your friends and random people you've never even met can comment on your journal and give you insight into your life that you didn't have before.. thats why i love it so much.. but now its like its been ruined for me by the fact that my family and husband read it and then i have to hear about it later.. they bring it up and talk about it..

if i really wanted to talk to you about whats in my journal it probably wouldn't be in my journal in the first place don't you think.. i could have just talked to you about it in the first place and not put it here at all..

*deep breathe* am i wrong for feeling this way?

so at work the other day i pretty much had a bit of a breakdown.. kayla kind of pushed me to the edge.. and i just jumped right over.. everyone at work is fustrated with me because they feel that i don't support them enough as a coworker and then i'm fustrated because i feel like i still don't know half of whats expected of me.. how am i supose to be the coworker they need me to be when i was never really taught what to do.. half of the stuff is beyond my comprehension.. Its just so fustrating so i broke down and i blabbed at ashley and marcy for like an hour while i cried and they said they would take care of it and i would see changes..

well i've had 2 days off and i go in at 4 pm tonight so i guess i'll find out what the changes are.. i was in yesterday with lucien at lunch time and we got pizza and stuff and steph waved and smiled and asked me how i was feeling since i've been sick.. so that was a good start.. i guess that means shes not mad at me or anything.. i'm still in wondering mode weather or not we're hiring the new girl that steph interviewed because i've heard nothing else about it yet..

i feel like if they hire some other new person right now everything thats happening with me is just going to get overlooked and then here i am still not knowing what i need to do and there will be a new girl actually getting the training she needs.. gahhhhh.. i dunno its just so fustrating..

i feel like they started me at the worst time possible and actually i don't just feel that way i've been told that they started me when they knew i would only be able to get limited training and steph the manager wouldn't be able to spend much time with me.. why start someone under those conditions? its idiotic..

*sigh* so anyways if you made it to the end of that sorry </ maddening rant about work >

so i've been trying to get back into the swing of things..

although i was so ready to have the internet again i've found out that i really probably didn't need it yet.. lucien and i finally made the last trip with the last of our things to the house.. which feels so great but now we've still got boxes and bags of crap everywhere that i have no idea what to do with.. i kind of feel a little lost.. just in the fact that i have no idea where to put everything..

that and the things i have that i want to decorate my house with are not kid friendly and although my home doesn't HAVE to be kid friendly we seem to have a lot of kids coming over recently and i don't want anything broken.. so i'm not really sure how to take care of that in the long run..

one good thing about going through the entire attic and going through everything though was a i found some of my great great grandmothers knitting things.. and now i have them.. which is useful because i don't have to go buy every size of knitting needle she has most of them and i have books galore.. not to mention i found a super cute bag!!! yay for ugly 70s stuff that i'm in love with!

I promise to try and at least update my journal once a week and i beg all of you to hang in there with me cause i promise i will be getting back to my journal more often shortly.. just as of right now.. there are such more important things to do.. like i need to scrub my kitchen floor.. its yucky.. yay for kids with oreos and my kitchen floor.. *rolls eyes*

love you guys!!

i've been absolutly dying to get my internet up and going and be able to post again.. although voice posts are nice i'm not really a big fan.. so i did one but i don't think i'll do one again.. according to my husband it got some of my words wrong in the translation..

So anyways my client has a save as draft feature so thats what i'm doing writing an entry and saving them as drafts and then they'll be posted at a later date but hey i gotta vent somewhere..

so my new apartment is nice its quite large.. i will take pictures as soon as i can.. and post them.. its a 2 bedroom.. the second room is larger than it seems.. it would make a nice childs bedroom.. definatly not an adults.. the lady that had it before me had all her snakes in here.. theres still holes in the walls from where the shelves that held the tanks were.. this is now my computer/craft room.. i'm excited to have one.. all of the drawings and spin are things that the kids made me at krislund are going to decorate this room.. i just havn't decided yet how.. but they will.. i think i'm going to do a sculpture of something as well to put in here.. i was thinking of getting some of that bendy sculpture wire and making a tree or something.. i dunno i've got a thing for trees.. maybe do a very large one in the living room..

i'm sitting here waiting for the comcast guy to get here.. they said anytime between 12 and 3:30 and its now 2:47 so yeah.. i've been here the whole time.. i vacummed and mopped the kitchen.. and took out some trash.. i also mopped the bathroom and put up the ducky shower curtain we got.. and put down the bathmat.. which reminds me i have to put new towels in there.. lucien and i need to do laundry this evening so i pulled the towels.. gahh i'm going crazy just sitting here..

although i'm so glad to have a day off work.. i worked 9 days in a row.. not fun! although the last 2 of those days were days that i was suppose to have off and they asked me to come in.. and i switched with brent the second of those 2 days so i worked for him on thur and he is closing for me on sat.. which actually causes me to lose like 2 hours but at this point i just don't care i need days off.. but days off feel like i'm a bum..

so yeah..

i guess i'll get back to cleaning..

so i apologize to anyone that actually reads my journal.. I know that i did not update after my first day of work but i've been so worn out and tired. Everything went really well.. Theres a ton of stuff to learn..

I got there monday morning and met my boss Stephanie.. and shes super nice.. and she taught me like everything.. the morning routine.. i'm pretty much trained to open the pizza shop up.. I can make pizza dough everything its quite fun.. that day i also met Daniel.. he works there as well but he doesn't talk much.. and especially not to me because he doesn't know me..

Tuesday was fun.. it was exactly like monday and pretty boring although on tuesday i found out that on wed i would not be working with stephanie because she had the day off and i did not.. and i didn't meet anyone new..

on Wed i worked with Mindy shes a girl that works in wokery and flops back and forth.. shes super cool and a total joy to work with she kinda stood back and let me run the place but was there paying attention so if i needed her or anything she could step in or if i forgot anything she could stop me and fix it.. I also met Kayla but i was kinda crabby and i think she was too so we didn't introduce ourselves to each other..

but then Thur rolled around and the was the hardest day by far i went in at 9:30 instead of 7 so i wasn't opening i was there to make the wings.. and steph was suppose to be teaching me how but her kids had a 2 hour delay for school so she was late.. then she finally got there really didn't show me much and took off to talk to the manager Marcy and then left for the day so I was there with Brent and he taught me everythign i needed to know about the wings and then Kayla got there in the afternoon and we talked and shes really cool and we got to know each other and then Nina came in that night and i got to meet her..

then i had off friday

and now today sat i worked with steph daniel and mindy.. Saturdays are pretty busy but it was alright overall.. and lucien and i went and got our taxes done.. so thats out of the way and then on monday we should have our return since thats the first day their giving them out.. so right now we're really searching for apartments.. which i have to go look at now.. so hopfully this coming week we'll have a place.. yay!

i'm off to relax and watch some that 70's show season 5

so i start work tomarrow.. and as excited as i've been up until now.. now i'm just kinda scared.. i hate that i'm all nervous too.. its like.. YOU WANTED THIS!!! stop being nervous.. know the feeling?

and as many times as i've been through the first day of work before.. every place is different and you never know what to expect.. not to mention i have to wear like the worst hat known to man.. i hate hats! So i look like a man with the hat on! yippee.. more manish..

i shall post after my dreaded first day and let everyone know how it goes..

so not only am i listening to the beyonce song but recently i find myself actually wanting to be a boy on occasion!

( girly cut that boys may not want to read and even some girls! )

so *deep breathe* this is my girly rant.. i'll keep them under cuts.. of course.. but phew!

so i have no annouced it yet and why i have no idea.. but i got that job at wegmans.. i am now a part time pizza shop employee.. which is freakin awesome!!! I'm excited and my new boss is awesome..

So i just found out yesterday i got the job and filled out the online paperwork and now today i'm going in for orientation and then i start work next week.. as long as they didn't change their mind after i left.. Cause that would suck!!! not really but i'm looking forward to having this week to prepare myself for work again.. besides i need to get pants and shoes for work..

like i was saying the other night i've never been so excited about stupid things before.. like pants shopping for my new job.. or better yet.. last night Lucien and i were at target looking at pots and pans and flour and sugar jars and i was excited.. it just seems so naive almost.. I dunno.. anyways kids i need to go get dressed for orientation.. wish me luck.. (although i don't need it i already have the job!)

so i was checking out my friends page her on lj and someone did this so i had to and i think this is awesome and i'm going to post it..